Okay, give me a second to regain my composure as I try to relay everything that pisses me off about the Colorado shooting. The shooting itself is absolutely atrocious and it's not really like I needed another excuse to not go and see a midnight viewing of a movie, but let me point out some things from this CNN article that make me say,

"America, what the f*** is wrong with you?"

I'm going in order of the article, by the way:

• "One of the injured was 3 months old..." Dear parents of the 3 month year old, what the f*** are you doing at a midnight showing with your infant child? S/he should be cuddle up in a crib, sleeping soundly, not in the middle of a movie theater at a midnight showing of an action movie. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PARENTS TODAY? Stop being selfish. Get a sitter or something for the poor thing! Now look what's happened? THREE MONTHS, PEOPLE. 

• "Cell phone videos take by someone..." Seriously? SERIOUSLY? You, cell phone video taker, could have been helping people someway, somehow, and you stood there and took a cell phone video. Forgive me for nitpicking, but I'm not amused by our generation's versions of events like this. 

• "One police officer carried a girl believed to be about 9 with gunshot wounds to her back..." That sentence finishes with her not moving. Refer to my first bullet point about kids going to a midnight showing. I'm not sure about the age of nine. If she was with parents, I could potentially see it as more justified than the infant, but if she was with friends--no way, Jose. Also, to make it clear, f*** you, murderer for killing a nine-year-old girl and injuring a baby.

• "ATF agents also are conducting emergency traces on the weapons used to see how they were obtained..." And people don't want stricter gun laws. I'm just going to point you to the chart to see where we, the US, stand compared to other places like the UK. No offense, Republicans, I want the strictest gun laws that can be imposed on this country, the second amendment be damned. 

• "...copycat shootings..." Oh my gosh, the world is one f****ed up place.

Also some lessons I've taken from this event:

• I'm never going to a midnight showing of anything ever again.
• I'm never, ever going to Colorado nor am I ever moving my family there. This shooting took place mere miles away from the Columbine shooting from 1999. 

Things I hope other people have learned:

• Think twice before you want to support the second amendment. All I ask is stricter policies in getting a gun not totally abolishing the right to have one. 
• Think twice before taking your infant child to a midnight showing. Actually think twice before having kids if you're that stupid and selfish.
• Drop the effing cell phone and help people.

Final thoughts: I hope they catch the a**hole who did this and punish him in the worst way possible.

Also: My condolences to the victims of this whole thing, even the stupid parents of the infant. It must feel like something out of a horror movie to have this happen on a night that was simply supposed to be a nice night out.

You day dream, right? I can't be the only one who comes up with the most ridiculous fantasies in my head while going about my usual daily life. I go to town too, connecting like three different facts to make up a possible scenario that could potentially happen. This is mingled with way too many viewings of chick flicks and readings of Sophie Kinsella novels. Buttttt, I though it would be fun to share some of these fantasies here since this place is where I share all the weird ideas and rambles that everyone else in my real life look at me and crack up at. So hereitgoes:

• Falling in love in Madrid. Okay, sounds decently possible enough, but I have not finished. Oh no. Here's the thing, my favorite celebrity/idol/whatever in the whole-wide-world likes to take his personal vacations in Spain (at least I'm pretty sure he's been twice). And since he's promoting right now, it means vacation time is definitely coming up sometime before the end of the year (hopefully). And, guess where this chick is going to be from August to the end of 2012? Madrid. How perfect would it be if I happened to run into him on a walk around the city or something? And I wouldn't fan girl. Heck no. I'd pretend I had no idea who he was and think he was a cute Asian. Learn he's Korean, be flirty or whatever it is that girls are to pick up guys they just met, have dinner with him, and we fall in lurrrveeee. And then exchange letters until we meet again. Perfect, right? If this actually happens, I will consider all those prayers about falling in love from my angsty teenage days answered. in. full. And the whole post about being single would be out-the-window. 

• Pulling a total She's All That makeover. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THIS! Actually, who hasn't always wanted to do this? Every summer in middle and high school, my goal was to get super-hot-VS-skinny, do something glossy and cool to my hair, and return to school a total hottie. How suh-weet would that be? Obviously it's not gonna happen, but it's a nice thought...

Let's face it. I really only wanted to share my Madrid fantasy because I just thought of it. Wouldn't it be the coolest thing if it came true? Of course, in real life, I would have to hardcore stalk where this guy would be to make sure I "ran" into him and this is all presuming I'm attractive enough to get his attention when he first bump into each other.... I need to stop watching chick flicks.

If you ask my sister, this is probably why I'm still single, give off no sex appeal, and am just a straight-up weirdo. FYI I mean my real, share-a-last-name sister. The thing is, I'm pretty, freaking weird. And not in the kinky way (get your head out of the gutter!), but in the secret-Asian-nerd way. I've noticed it recently, and while I'm not hiding it, I'm not opening my mouth and shouting it to the whole world either. I have about eighty million interests, and these just so happen to be some of them.

• I'm a secret fan girl. Okay, not that secret, but I'm not much better than a lot of fan girls. I don't do that whole thing where they like the pair group members as couples because that's too weird even for me and, let's face it, my lack of a gaydar is a sensitive topic, so why would I encourage it? But I totally looked as soshified.com like errryday for Soshi updates, and for a while I was following a Kyuhyun fan page to figure out what he was up to. I screamed like a crazy fan girl when I saw G-Dragon in person, and totally waited at this state with my friend for an hour or so in hopes he would appear. No, I'm not kidding.

• I TOTALLY read manga. A lot. Like a lot, a lot. I've read so much manga over the years that I often forget a lot of them. Even my favorites, I forget that I've read them. All I know is that Fruits Basket was my first and my favorite (though Hana Yori Dango is close). I've read some smutty ones too--they're pretty terrible. I definitely prefer shoujo manga--the cutesier, the better. The worse one I read was probably Haou Airen because it was just beyond bizarre for me. Plus the ending was sad, though not that sad when you think about it. I don't know; I don't recommend that. I don't recommend a lot of that mangaka's work because it can be pretty smutty. Though I'm reading Ai Ore! now, and it's cleverly adorable.

• I also have watched anime. You betcha! I actually don't watch that much because I prefer reading the manga version over the anime--especially because two of my favorites (Furubu and Ouran) only had two seasons when there was so much more left of the story. I am considering getting into the Avatar series though. I watched the finale of Korra while I was in California, and it was quite good.

• I watch A LOT of sappy Youtube videos. Not the kitty ones either (I watch less of them than you might think given my name). I watch the couple videos, the kissing compilations, and the ones with sappy Celine Dion songs in the background. You think I'm kidding, but one look at my Youtube history will tell you differently. It's pretty bad. After I finished a movie, show, or a manga, I always youtube couple videos to relive the moments.

• I would totally be a gamer if it weren't for my brother. I would! I'm not at all, but given my short times with Angry Bird, Solitaire, Temple Run, and more, I know I'd be addicted to games if my brother had let me play his Nintendo 64 more often when I was little. I would 100% be that person up to 3 am playing a game. 

I know, I'm a bit dorky. At this point, though, I've embraced it. What's the phrase? I'm letting my freak flag fly.

"Cho Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun."

"Look like the Tone It Up Girls. ABS ABS ABS."

"I shouldn't have eaten that cookie dough this morning."

"Holy shit, I want to throw up." [During Cross Fit]

"HOW HAS IT ONLY BEEN TEN MINUTES?" [Treadmill--walking...]

"I want legs like SNSD." [Treadmill--walking..during any K-pop song]

"Ooh...he's hot" [When I manage to be in the gym at the same time as the one hot guy who comes to my gym]

"I hate running. I hate running. I hate running." [When I try to run to look like a total athlete in front of the one hot guy by running on the treadmill.]

"Heeeeeeeeeeeee hoooooo heavy breathing sounds" [After approximately three minutes of running at a 5.5]

"Git yo fat ass movin'" [My ghetto trainer inner voice]

"ABS, Bitches, ABS. No more side fat. No more side fat."

"Fit into jeans. Fit into jeans. Fit into jeans."


"fjdsklfjfskdjf sdfjskjfsdkf youuuu" [singing along to K-pop songs]


"I hate freestyle." [While swimming] "Holy bajeezus, I can't do fly."

"Water break!" [At the end of every workout]


No, but really, this goes through my head all the time.

(I don't actually think this, but I had to. Have you listened to this ridiculous song?)

You know....I don't know how to say this. Maybe it's because I'm not at school where half my sisters are basically engaged and the other half are at least in some stage of a relationship (and by sisters, I expand this to the whole freaking campus, all 1,300 of them). Maybe it's because I'm enjoying work/watching copious amounts of "Mad Men." It could also be that I don't have as much time to get lost in my thoughts (hello, lifeguarding) with work and whatnot. And it could also be the fact that I have a lot of plans and figuring out to do before I graduate in two years. It could also be that quite literally the last four or five guys I have found to be attractive are very, very, definitely gay... But here's the thing:

I like being single.

No, really. And this isn't a pathetic post from someone who's trying to show a brave face in being hopelessly single (though this blog is called "The Future Cat Lady Diaries"). It could be, I'll let you know when I'm actually in a relationship, but for right now I like it. 

There's a lot of reasons why. It could be because I've never been in a relationship nor have I ever been "talking" to someone. I don't know a thing about intimacy, and I've never been on a single date. Double, blind, through a dating site. Nada. I did tell my brother during an eHarmony commercial that I should make an account, and he said, "Nah, wait until you're twenty." Friends, I'm two months away from being twenty. But that's besides the point. It could also be that I'm extremely awkward, and the thought of being "set-up" with someone actually terrifies me/turns me off. It could also be that I've succeeded in being a totally asexual human being, but given the way my heart swooned at my title song when Kyuhyun sang wearing that awful neck thing points to a no. It could just be that I'm going to be jumping around a lot in the next two years/possibly four, and the thought of having to factor someone else into those decisions is, basically, a huge drag.

I can point to the indicators that I'm not as into having a boyfriend as much as I was in my younger day [read like six months ago] (otherwise known as the cool down of my boy-crazy hormones).

• When I pick up a romance novel, I'm more interested in how the sex scene is written than how the male hero and female hero overcome their obstacles to have their demanded happy ending by the end. (No, but really, one of the guidelines of a romance is novel is that it has to have a happy ending.) I'm looking for good euphemisms and no murky business with five different hands going to five different directions. I don't want to read an anatomy book for Pete's sake.
• Sad animal commercials are more likely to make me cry than a tragic love story, though the tragic love story will tug at my sorry heartstrings when done well.
• I don't yearn/obsess/pine/sigh away my days over a guy. Let me direct you to how I spent all of my freshman and sophomore years of high school. I'm frankly embarrassed at myself.
• I'm not jealous of people in relationships. I get excited for people who are in relationships and obviously if we're friends I ask about eighty million detailed questions, but over all I don't have the, "When's it my turn?" demands.
• Looking at my ten year plan (like I really have a ten year plan), I honestly don't see starting a relationship in the books. I've learned that the happiest I feel is when I step off an airplane. When I exit the terminal doors to a whole new place or come home for a little bit, I get this feeling of happiness. I'm not meant to settle down anytime soon.
• Seeing people in my store whose boyfriends are basically buying them something for an anniversary or "just because" doesn't bother me much. I think this is more of the fact that I listened to "Independent Women" by Destiny's Child on repeat as a child. Imma be buying my expensive goods myself.

But, obviously, who am I to know? Clearly there are still indicators that I'd like a boyfriend. Someone to be the big spoon while we watch a movie. Someone to spend holidays with. A good romantic comedy (Bridget Jones's Diary) or a good shoujo manga (Furuba and Hana Yori Dango, you get me all the time) always makes my insides melt like a Popsicle on the Fourth of July. And who knows? I've never been pursued before (has anyone in this day and age?). I've never really been properly hit on, I think, and no one I know has shown interest in thinking I'm particularly attractive (I'm kind of not--at least not mixed with my noisy personality or my standoffishness--according to my sister). So who knows? Maybe I'll throw all this out of the window and melt into the arms of the first jerk who says he thinks I'm hot. 

That'll be the moment when all my sisters and friends start water boarding me, FYI. I'm holding all of you accountable. Don't take bullshit excuses from me, just duck my head in the water until I think I've drowned.