Guess what freaky piece of B horror/comedy flick I just saw yesterday? Teeth. It's one of those horror movies infamous among college crowds because of its weird, freaky nature (like that human centipede one). Teeth is about girl who has teeth in, wait for it, her vagina. Her va-jay-jay. Teeth like the ones in her mouth, only presumably a lot stronger, to protect her womanhood from predators. Which, apparently, there are a lot in her life. She starts out as one of those types of girls who likes to preach about saving her virginity for marriage. Now, I'm not against saving oneself for marriage in the least bit; I respect that choice immensely. What I get annoyed with (and I do the same for people who do it with religion and other things) is the people who like to shove it in your face and preach about it, making anyone who has decided for premarital sex feel like the scum of the earth. Anyway, Dawn, our main character, starts off with this speech. The movie shows how she transforms from this virginal innocent into, well, someone else. Not bad, actually a little bit kickass.
Let's see. Her victims. Her first boyfriend who tries to get it on with her in a cave. And while she's momentarily knocked out. That's when she realizes what's going on down there. Then there's the totally shady gyno who tries to shove his hand (or at least four fingers) up there and sexually assault her. Then there's the guy who actually does have sex with her because she likes it, and then turns out to be a douchebag. And then there's her oh-so-lovely step-brother.
Anyway, if you want to laugh for an hour-and-a-half, freak out your male friends, and make fun of how funny this B flick is, I recommend it highly. There really is no horror in it besides the graphic pictures. It's good for a boring afternoon with friends.
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