(I don't actually think this, but I had to. Have you listened to this ridiculous song?)

You know....I don't know how to say this. Maybe it's because I'm not at school where half my sisters are basically engaged and the other half are at least in some stage of a relationship (and by sisters, I expand this to the whole freaking campus, all 1,300 of them). Maybe it's because I'm enjoying work/watching copious amounts of "Mad Men." It could also be that I don't have as much time to get lost in my thoughts (hello, lifeguarding) with work and whatnot. And it could also be the fact that I have a lot of plans and figuring out to do before I graduate in two years. It could also be that quite literally the last four or five guys I have found to be attractive are very, very, definitely gay... But here's the thing:

I like being single.

No, really. And this isn't a pathetic post from someone who's trying to show a brave face in being hopelessly single (though this blog is called "The Future Cat Lady Diaries"). It could be, I'll let you know when I'm actually in a relationship, but for right now I like it. 

There's a lot of reasons why. It could be because I've never been in a relationship nor have I ever been "talking" to someone. I don't know a thing about intimacy, and I've never been on a single date. Double, blind, through a dating site. Nada. I did tell my brother during an eHarmony commercial that I should make an account, and he said, "Nah, wait until you're twenty." Friends, I'm two months away from being twenty. But that's besides the point. It could also be that I'm extremely awkward, and the thought of being "set-up" with someone actually terrifies me/turns me off. It could also be that I've succeeded in being a totally asexual human being, but given the way my heart swooned at my title song when Kyuhyun sang wearing that awful neck thing points to a no. It could just be that I'm going to be jumping around a lot in the next two years/possibly four, and the thought of having to factor someone else into those decisions is, basically, a huge drag.

I can point to the indicators that I'm not as into having a boyfriend as much as I was in my younger day [read like six months ago] (otherwise known as the cool down of my boy-crazy hormones).

• When I pick up a romance novel, I'm more interested in how the sex scene is written than how the male hero and female hero overcome their obstacles to have their demanded happy ending by the end. (No, but really, one of the guidelines of a romance is novel is that it has to have a happy ending.) I'm looking for good euphemisms and no murky business with five different hands going to five different directions. I don't want to read an anatomy book for Pete's sake.
• Sad animal commercials are more likely to make me cry than a tragic love story, though the tragic love story will tug at my sorry heartstrings when done well.
• I don't yearn/obsess/pine/sigh away my days over a guy. Let me direct you to how I spent all of my freshman and sophomore years of high school. I'm frankly embarrassed at myself.
• I'm not jealous of people in relationships. I get excited for people who are in relationships and obviously if we're friends I ask about eighty million detailed questions, but over all I don't have the, "When's it my turn?" demands.
• Looking at my ten year plan (like I really have a ten year plan), I honestly don't see starting a relationship in the books. I've learned that the happiest I feel is when I step off an airplane. When I exit the terminal doors to a whole new place or come home for a little bit, I get this feeling of happiness. I'm not meant to settle down anytime soon.
• Seeing people in my store whose boyfriends are basically buying them something for an anniversary or "just because" doesn't bother me much. I think this is more of the fact that I listened to "Independent Women" by Destiny's Child on repeat as a child. Imma be buying my expensive goods myself.

But, obviously, who am I to know? Clearly there are still indicators that I'd like a boyfriend. Someone to be the big spoon while we watch a movie. Someone to spend holidays with. A good romantic comedy (Bridget Jones's Diary) or a good shoujo manga (Furuba and Hana Yori Dango, you get me all the time) always makes my insides melt like a Popsicle on the Fourth of July. And who knows? I've never been pursued before (has anyone in this day and age?). I've never really been properly hit on, I think, and no one I know has shown interest in thinking I'm particularly attractive (I'm kind of not--at least not mixed with my noisy personality or my standoffishness--according to my sister). So who knows? Maybe I'll throw all this out of the window and melt into the arms of the first jerk who says he thinks I'm hot. 

That'll be the moment when all my sisters and friends start water boarding me, FYI. I'm holding all of you accountable. Don't take bullshit excuses from me, just duck my head in the water until I think I've drowned.